I have this new thing where I wake up at 3am every night. -_- It started happening ever since we stopped sleeping together.

We broke up. Nothing new. I really wasn't that devastated over it or anything and I liked the "single" life which I never thought I would say. I like it mostly because I'm not worried about driving anyone crazy. I get up, do my thing and that's it. I don't wait for anyone. I don't get mad when I go out alone. I don't regret the crazy drunk nights. I just chill and it's so peaceful. Dave told me I need to just be alone for a while and someone else gave me the example of Jay-z and Beyonce pointing out that they just needed to be apart to fix themselves and now that they have it all together they are "teammates" to each other. That sounds on point.

Sex is so amazing when we're not together.

I got a new vehicle. It's a pathfinder. I fucking love it. It's a damn beast and I named it "splinter" after the sensei (sick with the spelling) from TMNT. I also got a new job...Chili's. I like it so far. I like getting new jobs because I get to meet new people. I got a semi-promotion at Picture People, "Mobile Coordinator." I sign contracts with schools for photos.

I was hired, had no training and booked a 350 head school. That was great but then they semi-revoked my position. I didn't get a pay raise just the extra job so when the new DM was hired he decided that our store was doing so horribly that our focus shouldn't be mobile anymore so we have no goals and basically my job is worthless now.

Part of me wants to stay single so I can become that super-business guy. Always on the phone making deals. Dressed professional. Walks around, runs shit and has time for nothing else. Make money, that's it.

I got really into formspring. I don't really talk shit but there were 2 people I completely ripped. It's not that I wouldn't say it to their faces because it is kinda soft to talk shit anonymously but I didn't want to hear it from Michelle because naturally they're both her friends. LOL I hate her friends with a passion. Neither of them have ever more than looked at me and they hate me and consistently talk shit too. I hate when people respond to the bad comments "It really doesn't bother me." Nobody who doesn't care what people think of them makes a formspring buddy.

I kinda met someone else. I had known her for a while. She's 30 but she's Asian so she doesn't look it. She really likes me and technically she's all I want in a girl. It's pretty ironic but there are no "sparks." No homo but I only go for the chicks I have that crazy "wow, I need to have you" feeling with and so far that's still only Michelle. She's a trip.

When I think about my future these days I have no interest in the family life anymore. After seeing my godchild and spending a night with him I have no interest in having kids...ever. When I picture the marriage situation in my head I always see me completely lonely and hating my life and not talking to my wife because I can't stand her and then after sticking it out for 15 years we finally get divorced because we can't take it anymore. Negative much? Fuck that. I already feel like I'm getting old. I'm not about to waste the rest of it.